What Brian taught me

Part 1

I have a dog named Brian. He is a cockapoo and his breath is HORRIBLE! He has gingivitis written on his forehead. For many years, our vet recommended us to brush his teeth everyday to avoid a dental cleaning under general anesthesia or, even worst, having to give him wet food for the rest of his life in the eventuality that every single teeth in his mouth had to be removed. Lets just say that we are lame dog parents because we pretty much never brushed Brian's teeth.

Part 2
When you read mom blogs, there are often parental confessions regarding bribery. As a new mother with limited parenting experience, I totally disagree with that strategy. Bribing kids backfire because it fails to teach them respect and responsibility.

Part 3
Dan works for a big company. Each departments have specific goals to achieve and it is very common to offer incentives to employees who perform well (they also give generous bonus at the end of the year). In other words: corporative bribery! I also have mix feeling about that strategy but it helps to pay our mortgage.

Part 4
Last week, Brian's gingivitis got so disgusting that I'm sure his breath could have remove paint from furniture. So, half joking, I asked Dan: "What do I get if I brush the dog's teeth every day for a month?" My corporate minded husband answered: "I will get you a little something at the end of each week successfully completed!"

Conclusion
I'm happy to report that the Bye Bye Gingivitis Project is so far a success! I'm amazed to see improvement after only a few days.

I'm not saying that bribery is the solution to every behavior problem. However, after this experiment, I think that certain forms of reward system can be use with children (and with adults) but in moderation and with specific goals in mind.

For example, I don't see anything wrong with doing a special activity (not money) if a little one got a good grade card. I also think that there is a difference between an appropriate reward system and pure bribery.

I'm aware that the Bye Bye Gingivitis Project is silly but, as an adult, it gave me the kick in the butt that I needed to start this long term commitment...and because it is pretty funny when you think about it! Oh, and Dan rewarded me with a beautiful felt pinecone ornament!

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hoola tallulah: This is super interesting yet a bit strange that catholic schools where you are do not teach religion. If you don't think about the negative aspects of religions, it is true that there are many positive aspects. As you said: be kind, don't steal, don't hurt, share, etc. I'm not even sure if we still have catholic schools in Montreal.

shannah: Um...today I will "investigate" the celebration of changing seasons/nature. This looks like a pretty cool option to me :)

gimbo: I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one in that situation. I do think that some Christian rituals are great. This is why I want to incorporate the nativity set in our traditions. It is just a little something but I think that it is important.

peanut: Yeah, this is the finished one sold on Etsy. I got the DIY kit so I don't know if it will be as good looking! The music can be nice...unless it is by an 85 years old woman who doesn't remember half the words and seems drunk (it happened to us a few years ago)! And sleeping in on Sunday is a wonderful ritual ;)

su: Super! I didn't know if it was a good idea but, after I read your comment, I think that the nativity scene tradition is a good idea. Thank you xox

kine: I'm still debating about going or not to an osteopath with Alice. I had a few good names but I don't know. This is confusing. Have a lovely day!

To Jesus or not?

I know that Alice won't remember anything from her first Christmas but I found myself thinking about the way we will celebrate this, lets be honest, fucked up holiday in the years to come.

Last weekend, a friend asked me if Alice was going to sit on Santa's lap at the shopping center? Anti-consumerism Claudia answered "No, not at all, no way"! My friend was pretty disappointed but, as I told her, I'm a notorious party pooper!

Like most people from my part of the world (and my age...this makes me feel old!), I was born catholic but I no longer practice. Back when I was in elementary school, we still had "bible class" (this no longer exist in public school). Our teacher would tell us the birth story of Jesus and we would create nativity scene out of cardboard, glitter and maybe macaroni (as I said, it was a while ago)!

Just like sitting on Santa's lap, I wanted to exclude religion from our holiday celebrations but if I remove the bearded dude in red and the bearded dude born in a crèche, well, there is not much left.

WARNING: I will express my thoughts on religion...dangerous :P

So after consideration, I decided to add a bit of catholicism to our future Christmas traditions. I think that it would be a bit hypocritical to avoid completely the subject with Alice since Christmas commemorate the birth of Jesus. Even if religion doesn't take much place in our life, I find very important to educate Alice on the subject. I want her to understand that there are many religions and that we should respect what other people decided to believe.

So to Dan's great surprise, I purchased to DIY nativity kit. I don't know if he was surprised about the acquisition of a religion item or because it is a DIY that implies painting with tiny mini paintbrushes? Anyway, this should be a fun mother-daughter activity (I desperately count on my mom, who did a wood painting class, to successfully create our nativity scene) and I must admit that the idea of displaying our small nativity scene every year feels pretty cool to me.

Concerning Santa at the shopping centre...the answer is still no. Sorry Marie-Christine!

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the franglaise: I know! They could have added another illustration or simply removed the gun. There is also another one that I don't like: Épinard = Ouach ... really?

hoola tallulah: I was also thinking about the little boys playing with bows-arrows-guns-toy soliders. This is why I was wondering if I was paranoid or not! But just like you I still don't like it.

190.arch: You are so right about the classic stories. They are pretty hardcore when you think about it. Ah, what you wrote about the way that italian society treats little ones (written as a lazy sun) is super interesting. How does the story ends?

taryn: Really? This is bizarre! And she doesn't know where he got that from?

sophie: I will probably glue the pages together. It is simple and nobody will know that there was a gun illustration there!

lindsey [homegrown spud]: Oh, what is a worst case scenario (chiropractor)? Thank you! I like to think that Alice is very happy with us...well, since she almost never cries and smiles 99% of the rime it might be a good indicator :)

Are we paranoid?

Alice has a little cardboard book that associates a cute illustration with a noise (well, the written version...the reader has to make the noise). She finds it hilarious and laughs every single time we use it. However, there is a little problem with the book. Dan and I think that there is some inappropriate content for a baby (5-6 illustrations). I must say that it is not racist, sexist or anything truly bad but you know! For example, yes, a gun makes "pan" (it is a French book from France) but is it crucial for my almost 8 months old baby to know that?

Thus the question: Is it just me or we are getting paranoid?

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gemma wilson: Thank you!

tiffany: Lets all agree that grand-parents get so freakin excited when they are around babies that they forget to be rational and can often get on our nerves. However, I just let go and move on...but I know that Alice will be grumpy the next day! I love to sleep nose to nose with Alice but, when she wakes up before me, I can get hit in the face many times...oh, sometimes, she sucks on my nose :)

dorian: A few months ago, Dan's dad was holding Alice and she was clearly not happy about it. The thing is that he didn't care at all that she was about to cry. I also wanted to scream "leave her alone".

gillian: I think that most parents have grandparent neuroses ;) Mia's grandmother, from what you wrote, looks pretty intense regarding baby advices. So annoying!!! Oh, I didn't know that cats were baby killer! I will be more aware of my cat's actions...ah ah ah! Yesterday, a man wanted to get Alice's attention and, yes, it totally looks like if he was calling a dog! Funny because Alice didn't react at all! And I totally agree with you about the "Until then, I'm happy to be puked on; peed on; drooled on and look like a total nerd if it makes her smile."

sara: Oh, mother in law! I don't think that there is anything wrong with your feelings. Mother's instincts can be very strong. Do you see her very often? Are going to her place for Christmas? Take care xox

hoola tallulah: Yesterday, I really wanted to tell a man in the subway to give us some space but it was easier for me to wait the 5 stations until I reach my destination. It was not really a space problem but a "omg, you are so annoying with your baby talk". He woke up Alice because he was very loud and I think that he was also a bit drunk but anyway. Not cool! I think that you did the right thing at the bakery.

a loopy life: I think that it totally counts as sitting when you have to put the baby in the sitting position instead...if not, well, Alice never sat ;)

Too close for comfort

I remember when Dan and I started dating (back in high school), the first time we kissed felt like a very big deal. I was convinced that the entire school was staring at us. In reality, I'm pretty sure that nobody cared but, for me, welcoming somebody in my personal space was a bit uncomfortable yet totally fascinating.

I obviously still have a personal space but I do like the physical proximity that I can have with my family, my friends and even people that I barely know. I also think that I project my thin personal space on Alice.

Now that I'm living in parenthood land, I realized that many moms (and dads) get very offended when strangers or even family members touch their babies. Of course, I would never let Alice get near somebody that has influenza written on its forehead. I'm just talking about an innocent koochi koo on the foot or a kiss on the forehead.

A few months ago, Alice and I went shopping with a friend and her baby. Alice was in her carrier smiling to all the passerby. One of them happened to be a homeless man begging for money. When he came near us to see Alice and delicately touched the tip of her head, it never occurred to me that our personal space was invaded. However, my friend told me that she would have never let that happened.

This is a bit of an extreme example but this could also apply to grand-parents or the receptionist at work or the waiter at your local brunch restaurant. Recently, I received an email from a lovely reader (sadly, I can't read her blog since it is in Dutch) who wanted my opinion on the subject. Well, I think that it all depends on the parents' values and how comfortable the baby appears to be in that situation.

For example, I love to kiss Alice on her sweet baby lips. Yes, sometimes I find myself "French kissed" and full of baby drool but I think that it is hilarious. At the opposite, Dan told me that he was uncomfortable doing that to his daughter but he didn't mind me doing it to Alice. I totally respect his decision.

And if I was uncomfortable having somebody "invading" Alice's private space, I would simply (and politely) let the person know to back off a bit. Would it be awkward? Hell yes, but you got to do what you got to do as a mother. After all, it is your kid!

Do you have any "too close for comfort" baby stories?

note: Beautiful art work from Theater Clouds (on maternity leave).

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little gray pixel: I'm also telling myself to chill out but it is a bit challenging for me ;) Our babies will be just fine...Alexa will eventually crawl and Alice will eventually sit!

kim u: Just like you, I'm not a fan of osteopaths for no actual reasons. This is strange when you think about it!

taryn: You also have a non-sitter. Interesting! Thank you for your comment.

ali: I don't even know what is a cranial osteopath. Well, I figured it out by the name but it was a new thing for me. My friend also went (to a regular osteopath) and her daughter's head completely changed shape in one treatment. This is wild!

sid.: But it is so difficult not to stress :(

gillian: Oh, Alice LOVES to explore. Yesterday, she discovered the dog's water bowl...gross! I'm so happy to know that your girl can now turn her head easily. This is pretty cool.

daniela: Thank you! Rolling is the beginning of the end ;) Alice also seems perfectly content and relaxed about her situation.

lina: How come everybody seems to know about cranial osteopathy? Was I living under a rock?

haramaki love: Oh, you are Bess's friend, right? I must look like such an ignorant person. I didn't know about cranial osteopathy and, after your comment, occupational therapy!!! Thank you for all the information. This is super interesting.

emily: I'm VERY surprise by how active Alice is...especially when I look at other babies her age She is freaking hyper but it is awesome (and she is pretty much always happy).

anonymous: Oh cool! You are pregnant! Congratulations. And a little boy...this is so exciting. I hope that things will go as you planned. Take care :)

sara: J'ai plusieurs amis français qui trippent ostéopathes mais détestent les chiros. Je crois aussi qu'ils ne font pas exactement les mêmes choses qu'au Québec (mais bon)! Oh, j'aimerais bien avoir les coordonnées de ton ostéo. Ben oui, WTF, ils sont dans une clinique sur Décarie je crois. C'est bizarre non?

gimbo: You are right. For example, I'm really don't believe in homeopathy but when you see your baby suffer during the teething phase, you might just give it a try. I didn't try that yet but almost all my friends did with mixed results. And this is true... Alice can do just like all the other babies at swimming and yoga class, I don't think that there is a big problem with her.

bloom right here: Oh, another thing that I didn't know about: cranio-sacral therapy (thank you for the link). And yes, all those changes are part of the fun.

abby: I would also think that the less intervention the better...but grand-ma (my mother) doesn't agree with that at all!!!

sarahvine: Wow, thank you for all that information. It is so interesting to know how other kids are doing. Oh, you are doing such a great job, you should absolutely get a medal :)

sal: Thank you so much! Have a lovely week.

oscarlucinda: You should totally get the pattern. It is so much fun to make. I already made another one (I must take a picture). Yoga rocks :)

Ignorant Claudia - sitting baby edition

Ok, I'm all about telling people that each baby develop to its own rhythm, that there is no need to compare and that there is no point in rushing anything. However, for the past few weeks, I'm not at all following my own advice.

If you read my blog, you probably know that Alice started to crawl. It is not yet perfect but if she sees an object that intrigues her, like a camera on the floor, she will slowly but surely reach it to put drool all over it. This is such a big milestone...a milestone that should happen after a "normal" baby learns how to sit without assistance for more then 2 minutes.

Alice doesn't want to sit. It is not her thing! After a few minutes, she generally finds herself on her belly to crawl. She didn't lose balance, no, she just doesn't want to be in that position. Since she doesn't seem to be in any pain our doctor told us that maybe she has a little tension in her back or neck and this is why she is not a fan of the sitting position. She also suggested that we take an appointment with an osteopath.

I have nothing against alternative medicine but I'm always very reticent. I guess that one too many mandatory yet completely pointless chiropractor treatments (allo maman!) as a kid could have done it for me! I have nothing against chiropractors...fine, I will be honest, I dislike them with..."calm down Claudia, this is not the point of this post!"

So I have two questions:
1) What do you think I should do with Alice's sitting situation?
2) What do you think of osteopaths?

Until I figure out what to do, I "practice" Alice in a Bumbo Seat that a friend lent us...perfect because those little plastic butt-shaped sitters are pretty expensive.

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one claire day: I also love the Heidi shoes. And it took us so much time to getthem that the store sent us the most adorable mushroom night light as a gift.

ali: I would love Alice to be crafty...I have so many projects for us (I actually have a file with all the cool crafts that I see online).

sophie: Thank you so much

daniela: We are always "go Alice go"....like we are full time cheerleaders ;)

the franglaise: Ah ah ah, well said : "Baby crawling = double trouble and baby walking = endless trouble!" This is funny yet a pretty scary.

hoola tallulah: Fun for her but anxiety time for me ;)

leah: I'm planning to make so many pinafores. It is so much fun and, as you said, it can also make a great summer dress. I'm so happy that you like my blog. I have so much fun writing about my adventures in motherhood. It is even better if my posts can "help" other people :)

shannah: You are the one who introduced me to pinafores. THANK YOU! A few months ago, you sent me a link (that I lost obviously!) but the idea stayed in my head! It is the best sewing project ever because it is so easy and you can be very creative with the fabric.

carlinha : Thank you. I already made another one with some Nani Iro fabric.

Alice's new pinafore

I had such a lovely time making a little pinafore for Alice last week (just in time for her great grand-mother's birthday celebration).

However, while I was ironing some fabric, a certain baby girl decided to crawl for the first time (across our living room)...and reached the scissors that were on the floor (to cut the PDF pattern)!

Let me tell you that I felt like the most irresponsible mother ever but luckily Alice didn't get injured.

So this week at the agenda: baby proofing a bit our place...and no more scissors on the floor!

* * * * *

hoola tallulah: When you think about it, learning how to walk is incredible!!! This would explain why Alice sleeps so much (lovely naps for us).

little gray pixel: The face-plants on the ground is so sad.

clairsy: Oh, thank you for the link. It is such a beautiful poster.

lindsey [homegrown spud]: Thank you! The battle to keep things minimalist (especially with generous family members) was pretty difficult at first but since I took the time to explain why I wanted to do this and the benefits for Alice (and Dan and I) things got easy. However, I had to re-explain everything a few days ago when Christmas presents became the new hit topic in the family.

gillian: Alice was very intense with the rolling thing. It gave me such anxiety because she would roll on her belly and sleep like that...she was about 3-4 months old. I didn't want to sleep just in case something would happen to her. Alice is very into crawling but she just doesn't want to sit on the floor (even with toys in front of her) for more than 1-2 minutes. We might have to bring her to an osteopath (this is our doctor's suggestion...I don't know much about osteopath) to see if she has tension or something in her back-neck. I'm so happy that you like my little blog...but sad that you are lonely...come to Montreal and we can have tea together. xox

jennifer: People are always giving me strange looks when I tell them that Alice is still sleeping in our bed sometimes, that her crib is in our bedroom and that it will be like that for a while. One step at the time. I love that your little dude is making is own decisions at his own rhythm...you are such a great mom :)

You can do it my love

Alice's first blog post: , ouii99io kn hyjunopl;.

Seriously, I just wanted to write a bit about the pictures that I printed last week when Alice violently smashed the laptop keyboard with her little hands and hit "publish post".

(a few minutes later)

I finally decided not to write about the pictures since Alice is, at the moment, in an incredible "air humping" session. She really (REALLY) wants to crawl but she still lacks a bit of coordination. She is on her knees and hands, moving back and forth her small butt, and looks like she is about to establish her dominance on poor Brian (super low in the dog park hierarchy). Brian looks very worried!

Seriously, I find it amazing yet almost cruel to watch her works so hard (such frustration) to make this crawling business in operation.

Go Alice Go! You can do it my love :)


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hoola tallulah: We cosleep a lot and it is true (in our case anyway) that I don't sleep very well...especially now that she moves a lot in her sleep. So recently, we decided to have her sleep in our bedroom (in her own bed) but she can come to our adult bed in the morning. It works very well :)

emmy lou: Fox News is generally full of s**t!!!

kim u: The funny thing is the video (if you can watch it until the end) is pro cosleeping. I was so surprised!

carlinha: I love cosleeping with Alice but sometimes (like when I got a cold last month or when I was high on pain killer - tooth removed last week) it is good (and very important when I was on pain killer) to sleep in different bed. And for some people, it just doesn't work (same for breastfeeding). Each family is different and this is perfect like that :)

sid: Thank you for the link. I will read it as soon as I finish this post....update: OMG, this is a wonderful article. love love love!!!

190.arch: Wow, you are a toy expert :) Thank you so much. I don't think that we have that store in Montreal (I'm sad).

kate / tinywarbler: I can't wait to create lovely Christmas traditions with Alice and Dan and yes, afternoon naptimes are the best (I will have one asap).

clairsy: This is an awesome train set! I must put it on the list...maybe not for this Chirstmas but the other one. And Alice is a girl and I don't see any problem with her having a good time with that kind of toy.

Sharing bed via Fox News

Fox (the network not the forest critter, ah!) is not known for its seriousness. I rely on Fox when I look for no-brainer entertainment like Family Guy...hello, our dog is named Brian. However, I saw a little "investigation" from Fox News about co-sleeping and the conclusions were interesting.

I must say that, for anybody with a bit of knowledge in statistics, the research done by the journalist is pretty superficial and combine many elements that work marvelously well for a Fox News video: baby, death, ethnic minority, low income family, segregation, creepy anti co-sleeping publicity...you get the picture.

Anyway, if you managed to watch the entire thing (again, it is Fox News), the conclusions left me a bit perplex. If not, ***spoiler (if you can call that a spoiler)*** do you think that there is a direct link between bottle fed babies and death while co-sleeping?

It does make some sense but it seems just a bit too simple!



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190.arch: Oh yes, I saw one of those push thing toy with a trolley at Ikea. Thank you for the suggestions. About the shape sorter, I will ask for it but it will stay in the closet until the time is right. We have a generous family and Alice is the only baby so people all want to get her a little something....and I don't have enough ideas at the moment!

daniela: This is such a funky cool idea. I might do that for her birthday. You are right, I could ask for another swimming class for the winter-spring session. Like you, my personal list is much longer ;)

sara: OMG, that link is AMAZING!!! Thank you thank you thank you :)

lydia: Oh wow, so cute! I will add them to the list.

peanut: I think that I will ask for gift certificates for clothes. I'm sure that my uncles will be happy with that easy suggestion! Totally, our cat always get sick on the most difficult surface to clean. How does he know???

maria w: Yes, Duplo Legos. Love your comment about the clown-hammer! Funny but oh so annoying!

suite henry: The thing with grand-parents is that you better make them happy (and just put the item in the closet after) and move on with your life because they can be pretty annoying ;)

Ignorant Claudia - Baby gift edition

First of all, I would like to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement regarding my wisdom tooth extraction. My dentist can be pretty anti-social but he knows how to do his job. So after 15 minutes on the chair it was time to put my blue wool coat on and go back home.

As I was walking to the dentist I realized the last time I wore my blue wool coat was on our way to the hospital while I was in labor...almost 7 months ago. So maybe my dentist is not anti-social but he just didn't give a shit about my over the top emotional coat/childbirth story! Yeah, it is more likely to be the case.

Anyway!

So, my dad is the kind of person who annoys you for your Christmas present list even before Halloween. This year was no exception. This is why I keep a little post-it on the fridge to occasionally write gift ideas that could eventually make the cut for my (or Dan's) list. However, I didn't make a list for Alice because, frankly, we don't really need anything...except diapers but my dad said he would not give Alice diapers because it is, according to his values, an inappropriate Christmas present for his only grand-daughter.

I made a tiny list of toys that could suit my dad's idea of a decent Christmas present for Alice but I would like to get your suggestions. What gift (not necessarily toys) do you give to an almost 1 year old baby?

A cute pull along toy

A colorful shape sorter

A creepy yet cute stack and swivel clown

A "not sound aggressive" pound and tap musical bench

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No picture...simply words (because getting a camera can sometimes ruin the moment)

Sitting on a rocking chair in a room filled with afternoon sun. Alice resting her head on my shoulder while sleeping. The dog at my feet and the cat snoozing in front of me on the loveseat. Gently moving back and forth while listening to the soundtrack of Amélie. Kissing the top of Alice's head and smelling her sweet baby skin. The soundtrack played entirely (50 minutes)...until the cat woke up and puked on my new rug!

is it a sin, is it a crime
loving you, dear, like I do?
if it's a crime, then I'm guilty
guilty of loving you

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dear olive: I honestly don't know that many people that were aware of this condition. And yes, it is so easy to let fear overtake...ah, protective mothers ;)

oneeyedrabbit: It is not necessarily an hygiene question. Some babies have little hormonal imbalance that can also cause fused labia. Anyway, every parent would be freaking out!

hoola tallulah: It is not that I'm well researched. It was simply part of Alice's doctor regular speech about baby girl. I would have never figured that out by myself! I can't look at diseases and stuff like that on Internet...I promised Dan a few years ago...Internet can be pretty intense for an hypochondriac. However, I control myself very well and I almost never go to a doctor unless it is very necessary (like a pneumonia 2 years ago)! Kids should eat dirt...but not slugs ;)

becca: Ah ah ah, a "poop freak". Yes, as long as we have normal happy babies we should just relax and take it easy.

a loopy life: Thank you! She really loves the cat...but the cat doesn't love her that much.

meghan: Oh, you are right, motherhood can be pretty conflicting when you get too many opinions. Instincts come first (for me anyway).

emily: Honestly, this is the one thing that I'm super happy about my motherhood adventure: I totally trust my instincts (but I have awesome blog mom friends to answer my questions...so it helps a lot)!

kate / tinywarbler: I'm a super chicken person so I very rarely watch scary films or tv shows. However, I do love zombies stuff so I should give walking dead a try (I didn't know that show until now). Thank you for the info. Oh, you should make a tent for West Coast Alice...it is such an easy project.

janet: I also love that Alice finds me comforting but sometimes it can be a bit draining...and I'm not working! You rock lady :)

little gray pixel: It is really not that bad. I hope you will get a speedy recovery like me. Get some good pain killer for the night...I was high as a kite (but the pills were ok for breastfeeding).

ali: I still have another one to remove but in a few years...I will take my time.

bec hem: When I came back home I took a long nap but since it was a piece of cake to deal with I didn't get much special treatment from my husband ;)

julia: Pineapple? Really!?! Next time I go to the dentist (I read your comment when I came back home from my extraction) I will ask him about the magical power of that fruit!

bess callard: Actually, it went so well that I had salmon with potatoes and carrots for lunch...2 hours after the "operation". I was simply eating on my left side only. I was so lucky.

taryn: Thank you. I love to take pictures of Alice...all the freakin time!

peanut: I know... we are teething at the same time. It is pretty silly when you think about it. And you are right, it is truly not that bad...just a bit gross. General anesthetic for wisdom teeth is not very common here. A friend from France told me that over there it is usual but you need to have all 4 remove at the same time. I didn't have much aftercare instructions. It was all very basic stuff.

jamie: Thank you Jamie but, honestly, I freaked out for nothing.

bugheart: Thank you. It was great to have some relax time (half a day) but since I was feeling fine things went back as usual asap. Oh well!

jennifer: Thank you for the information. This was not in my book. So yes, she is right on schedule.

sara: Really? This is bizarre. I'm going to the CLSC tomorrow since I have some nutrition questions and I will ask the nice (there is one that I really like) nurse about it. I will let you know what she said. Thank you so much for the information.