If you read my blog, you know that I had a baby. You should also be well aware of the "normal procedure" required to get pregnant: sex, intercourse, love making, fornicating, the birds and the bees! Some of you might think that this post might be a little too personal but, again, I said that my blog would be honest and any subject can be discuss as long as it is done properly...especially since my mother reads my blog!
When I was pregnant, I often encountered local advertisements for informal group counsellings about post pregnancy sexuality. Every single time, I said to myself : "Really? You had a baby so obviously you know how it works! What kind of weirdos attend those activities?".
Tomorrow, Alice will be 5 months old and I now understand why such activities exist. It turns out that getting back to business can be pretty complex!
After I gave birth, I lost blood for approximately 6 weeks. I had a 2 weeks break and got my IUD installed. For your information, an IUD can also cause bleeding. In my case, it lasted exactly 1 month. I told Dan that if after 30 days I was still bleeding, I would get that glorified florist wire removed and he would get a vasectomy! The vasectomy never happened and I still have my IUD.
Alice was at the time 3 months old, her crib was (still) in our bedroom, we were (still) doing co-sleeping..and her vision was getting much better! Is it me or all those things are major mood killer? Add the fact that at the end of the day, the only thing I want to do is to get in bed...and sleep until Alice gets hungry at 5am.
On a less logistical aspect, when I became a mother, an intense emotional attachment with my baby was created. As wonderful as it is, this emotional attachment can also have a negative effect on the relationship (aka sexuality) of the "old couple" (high school sweethearts) that we are. Dan and I often jokes that dogs think one word at the time (food food food, play play play, sniff-butt sniff-butt sniff-butt). If I was a dog my constant thought would be Alice Alice Alice.
At the moment, I'm trying to find the right balance between our role as parents and our role as husband and wife (wow, that sounds so cheesy but what can I say).
This morning, I took a big breath and decided to write this post because I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one in that tricky situation. Having a baby requires a lot of adjustments and feeling guilty because I unintentionally neglect my (I will say it) sex life won't do me any good.
As they say, the first step is admitting that you have a problem. Now, what is the second step?
If you want to leave me a comment but are too shy (totally understandable) you are always welcome to write me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
UPDATE: Lina sent me this super funny video that is totally related to my problem!!!
note: Alice received this morning by the mail a super awesome wood rattle from future mama Tiffany. Thank you "sister", you are the best! xoxoxoxox
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shine little light*: Thank you so much!
one claire day: It was a surprise for me when I looked at my Google Reader that day :)