Previously on Aux Petits Oiseaux : Part 1
Once a week, a friend from prenatal/posnatal yoga class and I hang out at a bakery. Last week, we decided to each invite another new mom and create the Super Hot Mama Club (it's not really a club...especially with a name like that). This get together is a privileged moment where we can vent about baby stuff and eat delicious croissants while breastfeeding and changing diapers.
At one point, we talked about the pressure, from family and friends, to practice the Cry It Out (CIO) method. When Alice was 3 months old, I was with my mother-in-law when Alice fussed a bit in her bassinet. I responded immediately and soothed her with great success. Then, my mother-in-law told me: "Don't ask yourself why Alice doesn't cry. You don't ever let her cry". This could have been a compliment but the tone in her voice implied otherwise.
At first, Part 2 of this post was supposed to be about why I don't prone the CIO method. I wanted to tell you that channeling Africa really works since I can count on my two hands the number of time that Alice cried (for more then two minutes) over the past four months. Well, I can quickly tell you that in order to do so, you basically need paid leave from work, serious support from your family and friends, understanding the importance of breastfeeding and meeting your child's needs even before crying occurs...so pretty difficult to do in most Western societies where you have to go back to work asap!
However, last night, I received a phone call from a "member" of the Super Hot Mama Club that made me truly realized that each family dynamic is different and that channeling Africa is maybe not the ultimate answer to a cry free baby...and a happy mother!
For that Super Hot Mama, bed time is a challenge. Her five months old daughter, cute as a button, made the sleeping routine physically and psychologically difficult. Honestly, for her, channeling Africa is not the solution. Offering the breast when her baby is upset is counterproductive since she wants to get rid of the "nurse my baby to sleep" situation.
When I hung up the phone, I knew that the next few nights would bring its share of anxiety for her daughter but I was mostly worried for my friend...how her mother's heart must be crushed while listening to her daughter's cries from a distance.
Do you have any suggestions? Did this situation happen to you? How did you manage?
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vanessa - lynn david handbag co.: I don't know why people are always saying stuff that is going against maternal instinct. It is driving me crazy!!!
emily: I simply can't do it...maybe when she will be a toddler but not at the moment.
lara kasabian: I'm with you, cry = there is a problem. Since I have a year paid maternity leave, I can take the time to listen to my baby and help her even before she starts to cry. So happy to live in Quebec (my part of Canada). No problem with your English (it is very good), you know, I'm French. Take care xox
uk lass in us: Well, some people use CIO for other moments. Not my cup of tea but sometimes you maybe have to take drastic measures!?! Oh, are you talking about the 5-10-15 sleeping method?
lila: I never did CIO. It looks cruel (for the entire family) but maybe you have to do it for certain situations (ex: baby sleeps in its room alone)!?!
zel: Africa rocks :)
giselle: Really? Good to know that from somebody actually living in Africa!
kara: Wow, we must be sisters ;) We are doing the same mama stuff! Let me know what happen with 2-3 years old kid fits. I should get some Dr Sears books at the library. Take care xox
taryn: I also love "read your baby, not the books". And yes, mother's intuition rules.
~e: Thank you so much Erica. I actually started to read baby books after I gave birth. More a curious thing than a "I don't know what to do" thing. I also don't like labeling parenting but I like the attachment parent theory. I took what felt good for us. I loved The Happiest Baby On the Block (the only one I had while I was pregnant). I don't know the other book...to google now! Thank you again xox
anonymous: I got the fabric via Purl Soho a few years ago to make that dress. I didn't see that fabric available online in a while. For cute fabric in Montreal (but not Nani Iro) there is l'Effiloché on St-Hubert street (bad service but good selection) and I recently read about a great place in NDG but I don't remember the name (pretty pointless sorry).