Monday 10 October 2011

A lame mother...and a contest winner

It is not that I particularly enjoy writing about thought provoking subjects. I also love futile stuff. For example, I just purchased a bottle of "autumn" nail polish color as part of my cutify challenge. However, I don't think that you care that much about the state of my nails to justify an entire blog post about it.

Instead, I will write about something that could lead "teenager" Alice to be really pissed at me if she ever read my blog. I'm willing to take that chance because I would really like to have your output on this delicate subject.

Lets talk vajayjay!

A few weeks ago, I realized that Alice had a new favorite activity during diaper changing time. Looking at her mobile was no longer her priority. No, as soon as she found herself butt naked, my adorable baby girl would grab her lady parts with both hands and pull on it like there is no tomorrow.

New mom immediate reflex:"No!!! Don't do that Alice!!!"

After a few south of the border episodes, I realized that I didn't mind that much the vajayjay grabbing. Exploring her body is a natural process, right??? However, I truly disliked the vajayjay grabbing that could lead to poop on her hands that would find its way to her clothes, face and wall!

So imagine the scene at baby daycare after another puree workshop.
Claudia: " you change Alice's diaper?"
Day care worker: "Yes." (looking a bit insulted)
Claudia: " went well?"
Day care worker: "Yes." (looking a bit annoyed)
Claudia: " she do anything unusual?"
Day care worker: "No." (looking even more annoyed)
Claudia: " with my hands looking awkward) did"
Day care worker: "Yes and it is normal."
Claudia: "Oooohhhh, really!"

This is when things get a bit confusing for me. She warned me that to avoid future sexuality issues, I should let Alice discover her body. I should just tell her (!), something like: "No, don't do that Alice because there is poop in your diaper". Let me tell you that Alice understood right away ;)

This made me realized that there is more to be done then the classic birds and the bees discussion. Kids have a sexuality and we need to address it as parents. Yes, shocking, I know! Recently, a friend told me a story about a toddler that loved to put her hands in her underwear in the middle of the living room in front of her parents! Unusual...or is it?

Alice is still a baby but, in a few years, I want her to feel that she can come to me if she has questions or concerns about her sexuality. I want to be that cool mom. However, so far, I reacted like a total idiot. C'mon I could not even pronounce the word vagina in front of the day care worker. Lame...totally lame.

* * * * *
And now, the winner of the beautiful custom name print from English Muffin is Heather MK!

She said:
Happy birthday, Alice!! I think breastfeeding and generally getting over the FEAR of not knowing what to do with (how to care for) a new baby was a huge accomplishment. So much of it did come naturally and the rest worked itself out over time. And oh yeah, getting through the million little phases of the first year was pretty huge for me too. (My son will be 1 year old on Saturday, Oct. 8th!)

Please contact me at to know how to create your lovely print.

* * * * *

taryn: You are right. Some babies are funny looking but I would never say ugly. And yes, I also think that parents are programmed to find their babies adorable.

suite henry: Oh, I was there on Friday. I would have loved to talk to you.

tallulah maggs: Those stats are so sad. At some point, most babies kinda look like Golem. I do find wrinkled newborns totally cute.

alyson: Alice is like a mini Tyra Banks with her big forehead ;) You don't want to google ugly is sad and most of it is stupid photoshop stuff anyway.

anonymous: A Shirley Temple baby! That should be cute.

kara: I'm just like you. If I see a funny looking dog (or cat), I love it right away. It was a bit like that with my dog but with his personality and his health. He was so fucked up that I had to take him home with give him a good family. Again, don't google ugly babies. Not cool!

ines: I must find that Seinfeld episode. All babies are cute in their own special ways. Take care and xox to your newborn.

marie christine: T'es trop intense pour les gens qui suivent mon blog ;)

celia: We all love to tell other babies that they are cute and I don't think that there is something wrong with that. It is all a a question of balance. Any baby with a big smile is all the time adorable.

bugheart: No, I didn't have my camera! And even if I had my camera, the room was so full of people that it would have been too difficult to take a decent baby picture :) And yes, post pregnancy outfits can be a bit challenging.

anna of (green gable): Um...we only wash Alice 3 times a week. She has very sensitive skin (like me) and too many baths make her eczema worst. Unless she had a big poop accident or if it was a very hot day, we just wash her with a wet face cloth. Now that her neck is strong and that she can "hold" on my body, we occasionally take our shower together. She likes that. Oh, come to Montreal :)

carlinha: I also didn't get it when the doctor told us that Alice had a c-section head (I didn't have a c-section). Anyway, it doesn't really matter since all babies are adorable.

renae: Are you serious about this redhead thing??? This is so inappropriate. I personally love redheads...sssooo cute!


lola said...

hahaha! Just wait until she's older and you find her playing doctor with a little friend :)

It is a strange thing to maneuver around isn't it? With three little girls, there have been a handful of times I've had to address things like this.

I grew up in a very open home where we could talk about anything. I knew about the mechanics of sex (farm life) from a young age and it was easy for us to talk about our bodies. With my own girls, I do basically the same thing. Sometimes, in public, I'll whisper in their ear "that's not a polite thing to do in public sweetie". They often don't realize they are doing it. But honestly, I've found it rarely happens. I think if you make too big of a deal, it becomes taboo and then it gets weird. But I also don't think there is anything wrong with teaching kids social boundaries and cleanliness. Maybe I do it wrong though, this has just been my approach.

KELLY said...

hee. this made me smile...oh yes we have the same thing to deal with ;) but my current quandry is what to call "it" now she can talk? at the moment it's all "bottom" but i have been warned by another mum that's probably not a good idea down the line when potty training kicks in...

apart from that i agree with lola and am not making a big deal out of it. just need a name!!

Tallulah Maggs said...

Oh man, just you wait until you see what baby boys do! :)

Lina said...

Vajajay - you are too funny! My 7 yo boy spends much of his time clinging to his testicles or penis for dear life. Seems pretty normal to me. ;)

Lina said...

Oh and by the way I used the word vagina right from the get go in front of my daughter who used to call it a Bagina(!). One of my more embarrassing motherhood stories was when I took her to public bathroom when she was little so I could pee. She very loudly asked "Mummy, why do you have a furry BAGINA?". There was lots of sniggering in the other stalls!!!

UK lass in US said...

Yep normal. I think that we all think that we will be that cool mum. The problem is that the conversations never come up when you are at home alone. No, my dear son asked "How do the boy deer make the girl deer have babies?" while I was in the car with my parents... My husband had put him up to it...

The Franglaise said...

I love the discussions on this blog! Claudia, I think you reacted like any normal person would. I remember my son being only about two or three months old and cying out a loud "eeeek!" when I was changing his nappy one morning because his hmmm hmmm was hard as if ready for action! How is that possible at two/three months old? I was horrified (and it cracked me up a bit)! I also recall the first time Liam "hit" on a girl - I couldn't believe he knew how to use his charm already. Kids discover sexuality far younger than we think that's for sure! And let me just say, if you are open-minded enough to debate about these topics with all your blog readers, I am certain you will be that cool mom you say want to be!

Su said...

Haha, I call it a Vajajay too! Thanks for spelling out your blog name on your side bar. I speak enough French to tell people that I speak a little French but not enough to pronounce your title!!

abby said...

I used to babysit kids of many ages all the time - from newborn to primary school. I was basically a nanny. It was a real learning experience - the sexuality exploration part. One baby had even discovered orgasm (I kid you not!), apparently due to a diaper rash, and it made her parents (and at times me) uncomfortable to no end, because it ended up happening in inappropriate places and in inappropriate ways. This went on for all the years I knew her, so it made a lasting impression. I wonder to this day, how the battles over that may have scarred her adult sexuality. Anyway, it is true, there is a lot to be explored. To allow that exploration without negativity, or shame, or what have you, would be a gift to your girl. I think it's pretty awesome you are even discussing this.

olena said...

Hi Claudia,
I can imagine it makes you wonder how to react in front of others incase a situation like this arrises one day.

One day some friends told that there 3-4 years old twin boy LOVES shit. He tells that his favourite smell is that of his poop. He puts his fingers in his butt and then smells it, or even sometimes spreads some of it around the house and on his sister. Well, even this is normal, exploration of his body and admiration of it as it is.

I like how these (not too bewildered by the situation) friends finished this story : "Our boy is more like dog than a human".

Oh, I am also waiting for a discussion on sexuality and its preferences, but it will be in few years for you, I guess.