Sunday 19 December 2010

What a mom should be

This morning, I seriously doubted my ability to be a good mother. Being a parent is supposed to be the greatest job in the world. However, is it not also the most stressful? I'm not talking about the daily anxiety that raising a kid can bring. I'm talking about the fear of disease, accidents...the phone call that turns your parent life into a nightmare.

Last night, on our way to the ER (again), I must admit that I gave up. After I saw the blood between my legs I totally lost control. I became a scared little girl that wanted to crawl under the sheets after a bad dream. But a mother can't do that. She has to be strong, calm and ready to fight back. Instead, I holded Dan's hand and cried nervously while we walked in the snow to get a taxi cab.

And just like our last visit to the ER, everything went back to normal after a few hours: baby kicking, dog snoozing, cat eating the Christmas tree, husband painting the baby's room, wife writing about her pregnant life!

Dan told me that we are a team and as long as we are together everything will be fine. When one team member is in trouble the other is there to support him. This is exactly what he did for me yesterday.

But because life is still full of cuteness, look at that lovely baby hat that I got by the mail. Thank you Ingrid. I love it!


Florence Knapp (Flossie Teacakes) said...

I think parenthood often feels like you've got on to a merry-go-round that you can't ever step away from and sometimes it feels overwhelming to love and care for someone so much, and have so much invested in your child's happiness and well-being (like you've said, sometimes I'd quite like to look away and hide under the duvet when they've had a bad day at school or aren't happy or well). But those overwhelming feelings tend to be fleeting - most of the time it's just truly delicious to be so utterly wrapped up in your child's life. I'm so pleased that your day ended well with you managing to go back to all those day-to-day things.

Florence x

Ali said...

The most important thing a mother can have is a strong support network and the wisdom to ask for help when she needs it.

Dan is wise and is going to be every bit as wonderful as a father as you will be as a mother.

Abby said...

so glad you are okay. You 2 seem like a great pair with a lot of stick-to-it-ness. You will be wonderful parents.

courtney said...

Oh Claudia, I'm so glad everything is okay! I'm still trying to get used to that feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Having a supportive partner really helps, and Dan sounds amazing. Becoming a parent is one of the scariest things in life. But also the best. You're going to be fantastic. (You already are!)

UK lass in US said...

I'm glad that all was well in the end - and what a cute hat!

Being a parent does bring a whole set of worries - I've watched friends and family go through the absolute worst possible scenarios and it always leaves a lingering worry that one day my happy healthy family's luck might run out.

The good news is that once you are a parent, you'll get so little sleep that even simple tasks will require all your concentration, so you don't have much time left over to worry about what-ifs... ;)

A Loopy Life said...

Awww...I'm glad you're better.

alyson said...

I go through similar fears every now and then. I wonder how I'll get through difficult moments when even now I tend to break and crumble under pressure. I think become a mother is one of those things that just "toughens you up". at least I'd like to think that. :) so glad everything is ok with you.

on a side note - oh my goodness, that hat! does your friend sell them? I think I might need one!

ingrid said...

Oh, I'm glad things are alright. I can't imagine how scary that must have been.

And I'm also glad you like the little hat. I love the way you photographed it. :)

mjb said...

It's such a weird thing, how automatically mothering kicks in. I'm not instinctively the most maternal, but I immediately had such a bond that even when I most need a break it can be hard to watch anyone besides my husband hold my baby!

Pauper said...

Oh! I'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through this again--but so very very glad that everything turned out well in the end! That must have been so scary. It is wonderful that you and your husband have such a strong relationship to help each other through this. Best wishes to you both and your little one. xx
p.s. that hat is SO cute!! I tried to make one similar to that once and it didn't work out :(

Anne said...

Good to know everything turned out fine! Phew!