Thursday 14 April 2011

Lets talk about sex, baby

Dan and I are well aware that babies are not delivered by storks. Yes, we waited 14 years to have a kid but we knew about the birds and the bees from the more than graphic high school sex education program! When you are 31 years old, you would think that people don't necessarily see the need to educate you about sexuality...especially contraception!

The first time it happened was at the clinic. After my obstetrician told me that I had a great perineum (and a nurse at the hospital told me I had great nipples...please, enough with the compliments), she sat down, looked at us and said : "lets talk about contraception". Fine, it is good to know your post-pregnancy options.

The second time it happened was at home. The nurse from the community health centre handed us a document and said : "lets talk about contraception". Dan and I looked at each other and smiled discretely.

The third time it happened was with our doula. She looked at us awkwardly and said : "lets talk about contraception". Ok, I could not take it anymore! I laughed and asked if Dan and I looked like two retarded teenagers that needed to be told over and over again that if you have sex you might end up pregnant!

Apparently, there is an increasing number of unplanned pregnancies amongst brand new moms. Maybe it is just me but the stitches, the bleeding, the leaky breasts, the small jiggly belly, the lack of sleep (and thank God I have no hemorrhoids) are a major mood killer for me at the moment!

Oh, and when I called the clinic (one short week after giving birth) because I had blood clots, the nurse asked me : "did you have sexual intercourse"? me: are you serious???


Beautiful illustrations from an Alice au Pays des Merveilles (Alice in Wonderland) book that my dad gave us when he came to the hospital.


190.arch said...

Claudia, you made me laught!!
But yes, you'are right, at this moment you are not in the mood for sex, I know, I passed through.
But everybody who insists talking about it is right, most people thinks that in most cases nursing is a "powerful" contraception method, IT IS NOT, not for everyone. The interesting thing that you alreday know is that nursing could last some months, maybe years. Your actual condition will not last forever, in few weeks you'll be in the mood for sex, you'll see. Also you already know that while you are nursing you cannot use the contraceptive pill or anything about hormones, etc. So, knowing about your "new" options is really useful.
I have very closer cases where they find they were pregnant again when their eldest child was less than 6 months!.
Can you imagine it??... 2 human beings under age of 2 at the same time, in the same room, in the same house, under the same roof... mamma mia!!
Anyway, everything arrives at its own time, maybe sex could change a little as you use to know it and you'll need to learn your body again.
Nice compliments you got... having great nipples for nursing is the best. So do I : )

Lola said...

I always laughed when I was asked this question over and over again. One nurse looked at my husband and said "NO sex in the first six weeks. Every time you want to have sex, vacuum." Weird :)

Giselle said...

your post just brightened up my glum day!

The Franglaise said...

I pretty much got the same questions over again as well but as 190.arch said, I think it is because a lot of women think that you cannot get pregnant while breastfeeding because you have no periods. So I think they are just trying to make women aware of that. Though I totally agree with you about the not wanting to have sex anyway! Funny story: my gynae on my first visit after giving birth (4 weeks later) asked me if we were back having sex again and when I said I wasn't ready yet she said "il serait peut-etre temps d'y penser". Cm'on!

Alyce said...

I love people who can be honest with the world. I'm so happy to find your blog today as my husband and I explore the idea of having a child :)