Friday 10 June 2011
Are you a tiger mother?
As a response to my post about competitive mothers, a friend asked me if I knew the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Already too fed up with competitive mothers, she didn't want to read the book but since I'm new to the phenomenon I decided to give it a try.
As the cover suggests it, this book "...was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory...". I won't write a review except that, for your information, I found the book very entertaining. No, this post is about a few (highly debatable) questions that arose while reading it.
We all want the best for our kids and the way we raise them will impact the rest of their life. However, what is the best strategy? Amy Chua, the author of the book, presents many educational paradoxes between "East" and "West" that made me think about how I was going to raise Alice in the years to come.
Should I force Alice to do things because I know that in the long run it will open doors for her or let her choose her own path?
A real tiger mom thinks that kids don't know what is good for them. Therefore, they should never question what they are told to do!
Should I tell Alice that it is ok to fail as long as you tried your best or insist that she works even harder because I believe in her intellectual / physical capacities?
A real tiger mom doesn't accept failure. She will have her kid practice over and over again the same piano piece or mathematical problem until it reaches perfection (add tears and many "I hate you mother" in the process)!
Should I tell Alice "white lies" in order to spare her self esteem or be honest with her at all time?
A real tiger mother will not tell, for example, her overweight daughter the she is beautiful. She will tell her that she is fat and that she should change her diet and exercise more!
So, are you a tiger mother? If not, do you have a favorite book that reflects your values regarding children education?
note: there is not much tiger blood in me!
note note: my first note is not a Charlie Sheen reference, ah!
* * * * *
courtney: I like your attitude :) (Yes. Bug off!)
verypurpleperson: Wow, this is great! I didn't know that in Southeast Asia women are expected to breastfeed until the child is 2 years old! Very interesting!
lola: I totally agree with you (if my babies were young enough to require milk or formula of some kind, it should be mine) and I also understand the want my body back thing.
lina: Tripp Trapp rocks! I didn't know that pregnancy hormones can effect the quality/quantity/taste of breast milk. There are so many things to learn about breastfeeding.
isa: This is what I would like to do (in the morning and before going to bed at night). Oh, you are from Montreal! Do you have a blog?
kara: Oh, the biting looks so scary! Thank you for the tip (a firm "no biting").
susanna n.: I'm just like you. I used to think that it was bizarre to breastfeeding a baby that can actually ask you for milk! Crazy how opinions can evolve!
ali: Ah! I don't know if Alice will be like your first kid (too busy living life to nurse).
kim u: Sorry, I'm French. What is a MIL? I'm very happy to get good feedback about the Tripp Trapp since it is a bit expensive.
jennifer: I'm pretty sure that you are not a minority. And even if you never breastfed Gaius, he is a cute, smart and healthy kid!
190.arch: Interesting point about cow milk. I will read more on the subject.
lin: OMG,I was so surprised with the 4 years average! I love to learn new cultural things like that!
genevieve: One word : wow :)
uk lass in us: Really? I didn't know that some babies refuse solid food after, I dunno, 6-7 months! Ah, so much stuff to consider.
daniela: Just like you, I hope to reach 6 months, hopefully 1 year and after I will see! Oh, so sad to learn that you have a boobies situation!
sew nancy: I totally know that I will also be sad to stop breastfeeding :(
kine: As long as you have a happy kid! This is what I find the most important. And I'm sure that German strawberries are super good!!!
yvonne: This is so sad when shit like that happens! I would have felt just like you! I will remember your exact words: a great nutritional insurance policy. Perfect explanation!
sid.: Oh, yeah, breastfeeding two kids at the same time must be something extremely intense!
anonymous: You are right dear (!), it is time to toughen up :)
shayna: Oh no! This is awful!!! I wanted to cry when I read your comment. Poor you! xox