Monday 27 February 2012

The tale of the planning hypochondriac

If you read my blog, you probably know that I generally don't use this space to write about how difficult motherhood can be. I'm well aware that posts with a high emotional content are always pretty popular but it is just not my cup of tea.

However, I decided to explain why I was absent over the past month but I will try to use derision and humor...because laughing is always better than crying!

The first day of February (oh, I also turned 32 that week), I went to the clinic because I desperately needed cortisone...for my butt crack (fun fact: after baby swim class, even if your kid is having a fit on the floor, alway dry your skin very well before you put on your underwear). Just before I left, I told the doctor that I had a strange pins and needles feeling on my head, neck and back.

Next thing you know, I'm at the ER and let me tell you that they don't fuck around when you tell them that you have paresthesia (fun fact: this is how you are suppose to say pins and needles when you have adequate vocabulary...I don't). I waited a grand total of 5 minutes before I got rushed into a room with an electrocardiogram attached on my body (fun fact: I actually apologized to the doctor because I was wearing an ugly breastfeeding bra), gave way too many blood samples and did tons of strange neurological tests.

While waiting for the results, I started to make mental lists for Dan...since, you know, he was soon going to raise Alice all by himself...because I would be dead (fun fact: my favorite mental list was How to Dress a Little Girl Appropriately and With Style)!

Good news, I has not having a stroke.

However, I needed to see a neurologist in 48 hours. Great, it would give me more time to train my soon to be single husband!!! The hypochondriac was now working full speed...this is partly why I stopped writing on my blog. Basically, I completely avoided the computer because I just love to self-diagnose myself with the help of my good old friend Google. Those 48 hours were probably the most intense of my adult life...funny how having a kid makes you realized how important it is to be, um, alive and in good health (fun fact: during those 48 hours I kept doing some neurological tests as a nervous tic and it was driving Dan crazy).

Good news, I has not afflicted with any of the 1000 medical problems that Google and I researched (fun fact: my neurologist was very handsome and I was a bit sad that I had no reason to see him again).

So what was my problem you may ask. No offense to my lovely daughter but it is all her fault! According to the physiotherapist, I have compressed nerves in my back for these reasons:

Going up and down the stairs with a stroller
Going up and down the stairs with a car seat and a base
Breastfeeding on my side in a torsion position since I have small boobs
Not using a pillow while co-sleeping the first few months
Using a baby carrier for long period of time
Spending my days playing with Alice on the floor
Making a human swing out of my arms get the idea.

Yeah, this is why I did not write on my blog in February but now I'm back so in between treatments with the osteopath I will post as often as I can!!!

Claudia xox


Shannah said...

I am happy you are back and in good health!!! I would be completely freaked out in your situation too. I love her expression in this photo:)

Sandra said...

Oh man that sucks! In so gladnyour back and everything will be ok.

Lin said...

So good to see you back here! And that your ailments weren't too serious. I suffer from similiar - my ligaments are extra stretchy and my poor posture from breastfeeding (primarily) has actually stretched my collarbone ligament on one side so far that my bones have malaligned. So in times of stress or too much baby carrying/feeding I get the pins and needs in my arm, neck and shoulder from a pinched nerve. Isn't it fun! Things we do to our body for our children! I hope you get yours under control. Unfortunately mine is that bad I will need surgery at some point! All the best!

shine little light* said...

Oh my dear! Im so glad you are okay! xsx

Ali said...

How those children change our bodies. And thank you for the butt crack advice! Never know when that'll come in handy.

Glad it's turned out fine. And to see you and the charming Alice back again.

Paula Kiliclar said...

Thrilled to have you back and that you are all ok. Apartment therapy is nominating the best family blog and I love your blog so I suggested yours. Hope I did not cross the line!

Di said...

Glad to hear you are well!! Oh, the dangers of the internet - I too would spend too much time looking for diagnoses of every little thing - so I don't look ;-)

But of course, when on a work trip to the States and the "corporate" gift you are given is the US Special Forces Medical Handbook it would be rude not to look.....that too was dangerous ;-)

Welcome back!

indigorchid said...

Oh, Claudia - I'm glad you're not having a stroke! Being a worrier I can see where you're coming from, and it is not fun. All my best wishes!

bugheart said...

welcome back.
glad that
turned out
taking care
of a little one
is hard
on the body.
hope you feel better

Meghan said...

Oh Google. Google just about killed me 20 times over in the first few months of Zoe's life.

Rachael said...

I love your blog & your a wonderful writer! Just wanted to get that out of there before some other ER situation arrives. : )
See you soon.

Janet said...

So glad you're back and that you're okay! My dad was just diagnosed with cancer and I had to keep myself away from Google, too, so I understand! I also understand how hard having a baby is on your body! I need to do lots more yoga. :) Anyway, happy to see you posting!

190.arch said...

hehehe... it seems that having a little one is harmful to adult's health : P
I had some issues with wrists, hands and carpal tunnel because Emma.
Happy to know you are better : )

Becki said...

I'm glad you're ok! I've been thinking of you. These last few months I've been rehabilitating my back, which Was messed up by my beautiful 4 month old daughter.

taryn said...

Glad to hear you're gonna make it. Sounds like Alice is pretty lucky to have such a devoted Mama! Take care xo

Kerstin said...

I'm happy for you that you are okay. Ever since I have kids, I absolutely share the same fear, you need to stay healthy and alive for them!!!

UK lass in US said...

So glad to hear that the prognosis is good. I must admit, I keep pointing out the recipe box to my husband in case of my early dermise. Otherwise I think it would be a diet of pizza and quesadillas for my two...

Anne said...

Sorry to hear about your back, but relieved it was not a stroke! But training your partner can do no harm ;) Take good care of yourself.

peanut said...

Glad you're back (and not dying). Laughing is always better than crying but sometimes remarkably difficult - good for you (and thanks for teaching me the proper term for pins-and-needles though I'll probably never remember to use it). I hope your trips to the osteopath have you feeling better soon.

ps. Since I'm scrolled down to the bottom of your post I can see the picture at the top of your last post (or Dan sleeping on the couch with Alice. Is it just the fur or is your cat bigger than your daughter? :)

PJ said...

Welcome back. Sorry you had such a scare! I am a total hypochondriac too. Right now I am freaking out because Levi isn't gaining weigh and we have to do some tests. I'm doing everything I can to not Google the worst case scenarios. So hard! I'm glad you'll be back on the blog :)

oscarlucinda said...

Good to see you back lovely lady! Missed your sweet Alice pics & witty tales... the break from the comp was quite refreshing...


Gimbo said...

So glad to see that you're back and relatively well, children should come with a health warning!

I love the ugly bra apology! I was once in a minor car collision and the cute paramedic had to see my legs, which I hadn't shaved for days (I have yeti legs), so I feel for you. You are right - you have to laugh.

And belated birthday wishes, I hope you still managed to enjoy it xx

Tibi said...

Is good to know that you and your family are ok and also good to have you back. I come here very often.

Have a great week-end!


abby said...

Welcome back, Claudia! You are truly hilarious. Love your humor - yet I know that must have been pretty scary. I am so glad you are well, now take care of that back! xo

Bess Callard said...

yay!! I'm so happy you're back! and thank you for listing the causes of your compressed nerves because I think I'm doing all of those things too! ox