Wednesday 4 May 2011

Claire wants to know

Claire from sausage dogs asked me a few questions about motherhood. And please, don't judge me because I really enjoyed using an ugly pink hospital hip bath!!!

Things I wish I knew before motherhood

Of course, there are many little things that I wished I knew before I became a mother (for example, it is actually true that milk comes out of your breasts when your baby cries). However, there is one thing that I really wished I knew from day 1.

When you read about motherhood, it seems that there is always a magical connection, as soon as the baby is born, between the mother and her child. Well, for me, it was not really the case. Yes, I fell overwhelmed with joy but I remember looking at Alice during the first few days and feeling a bit disconnected. It was like if I didn't register yet that this little creature was my baby. Maybe I was so in shock (I know, I had plenty of time to get mentally ready but what can I say!) that I was having a difficult time letting my "mother" emotions sink in.

Well, what happened to me is actually perfectly normal! It takes some time to adjust to this BIG change and there was no reason for me to feel like a "bad mother" because I didn't have that magical connection with my daughter the second that I saw her. Even now, after 6 weeks, I'm still surprised (and amazed) to find a baby, my baby, sleeping next to me!

Most useful baby items for Alice
1) baby washcloths...because Alice regurgitates like crazy
2) glaxal base moisturizing cream...because Alice has dry skin
3) bamboo muslin blankets...because they are so practical
4) baby bjorn bouncer...because Alice can be with me all the time
5) stroller and/or baby carrier...because I like to be independent

Most useful grownup items for me
1) husband!...because he makes me very happy
2) nursing pads...because I leak everywhere
3) lanolin "nipple" cream...because, well, you know why
4) hip bath (yeah!!!)...because it felt good after I gave birth
5) water and more water...because breastfeeding makes me thirsty

Stuff Alice or I could have done without
1) nursing bras...because they make me feel like a grand-mother*
2) nursing pillow...because I find breastfeeding easier without it
3) baby mittens...because Alice doesn't scratch herself
4) pacifier...because so far Alice is pretty quiet
5) having too many visitors the first few weeks!!!

* instead I will get a few Elita crossover mini cami

* * * * *

clairsy : I hope that you enjoyed my answers! Take care xox

juultje : Oh wow! Thank you so much. I also get all kinds of crazy scenarios (like : "but what if she is an hermaphrodite") but I think that all mothers are a bit like that! And don't let the fears take all the room :)

vanessa - lynn david handbag co.: Ah! I never had to use a pull down changing station! Tomorrow, I'm going to the movie theater with Alice ("bring your kid presentation" of Water for Elephants) so maybe it will happen!


Little Gray Pixel said...

I'm wish you on the nursing bras -- I find them more impractical than they should be. But I do wish I had purchased some mittens because Alexa turned out to be a scratcher (still kinda is!).

Clairsy said...

Oooh! Thank you so much! I just squealed loudly in the office when I saw this post (because it says my name? dork). Super helpful, thank you! (but I still want to get teensy mittens because.. they're so teensy).
Thanks too for your honesty about not having that magical connection straight off, I can actually imagine just feeling a bit bewildered, so that's good to know.

Anonymous said...

About the nursing bras - Elle McPhearson ones are really nice, prettier, the fabric feels good against the skin and they don't sag. Totally worth it! x

Anonymous said...

Oh and p.s. I totally felt the same way about two of my children, it felt like they were strangers that just appeared and didn't really need me, anyone else could take care of them. Weird feeling. But then I woke up one day and realized I'd lay my life down for the little guy! And I was in love.

oscarlucinda said...

Thank you for your suggestions, Claudia - very helpful (and honest).

I tell you, blog land is such a great thing for mamas-to-be! What did they do before blogs?!

oscarlucinda said...

...oh, and such a beautiful photo.

mjb said...

I didn't use a nursing pillow when Will was a newborn because he was light enough to handle. Then there was a phase where he was heavier and it was easier to balance, and now I've stopped using it for the most part, unless I'm sitting on the ground. You'll be surprised how quickly the phases go of what you love and hate!

Sofisan said...

Great post! Always helpful to know how others feel about stuff.

But I must say I love my nursing pillow and I am still pregnant, I am actually using it right now! I have it between my legs when I am laying on the side and under my feet when I am laying on my back or like it is supposed to be used but for my knitting instead of a baby It has saved my back! If I will use it for nursing though is a different question...

julia said...

Really?? I liked the bras, and for me, it was the other way round: I didn't get any and then I was so happy to be given two pairs to... The same for the pacifier: In the first two weeks we were the "We don't use dummies" parents - up to the moment when we had to go to hospital because of the stomach problems Javi had... It's interesting though to see the different perspectives! One thing we can't do without at the moment: Baby Björn rocker. Oh, and one thing I thought was senseless at the beginning but turned out to be FABULOUS: A muff kind of hand warmer for the pram that was given by us.

roberta jane said...

love the great, practical advice! thanks!

UK lass in US said...

Oh, I don't think that any cami could have coped here... It's a great day when you get to wear a normal bra again, mind.